54. Meditation 27

Look for the thinker and let all thoughts pass away.

As always, see if you can resolve to drop everything. There is nothing worth thinking about. Simply connect with experience in this moment. Feel the weight of your body. The energy of it. Notice the changes in light in your visual field, even with your eyes closed. And be attentive. To the rising and passing away of each thought. Whether it’s auditory or visual. Our relationship to thought. Is perhaps the most important relationship we have to anything. It really determines everything about our minds and our lives. It determines the way we feel. It determines the goals to which we strive. It determines what we do in relationship. And in meditation, we begin to discover that there’s a difference between letting thought pass like a wave gently beneath you. Without any real implication. And finding yourself right in the strike zone. And getting hit with the full force of each wave. So in this practice, we’re learning to get out of the strike zone. As quickly as possible. And ultimately, perhaps to stay out of it altogether. And then we can ride the waves. With equanimity. And the moment you notice that you’re lost in thought. That thought has crept up on you unawares and captured your attention. Look into the thought itself. And look for the thinker. And if there’s any judgment there or frustration. Notice that that, too, is a thought. This is the practice to continually break the spell. To wake up again and again. It’s not about getting rid of thoughts. Notice this feeling of being located. This sense that there is a center. To consciousness. That, too, must be an appearance in consciousness. It must be borne of some feeling. It has some experiential signature, otherwise you would never imagine that you feel it or that your awareness in each moment is structured in this way. What is the feeling of self and where is it? You notice this next thought arrives. whatever it is. It could be a reaction to what I’m saying. Or a memory or a judgment about your practice. Again, gaze into your visual field and notice if you feel that you are on the other side gazing at it. That there’s a here and there. A subject and an object. Look for the subject. OK, he’s into space and look for the one who is gazing. And relax. If you feel any sense of struggle. Or tension. Suddenly recognize that feeling as an appearance in consciousness. Consciousness has already relaxed. It already transcends its content. You don’t even have to relax to be free of this tension. Or restlessness. Or whatever it is you feel. Just drop back and recognize that you are the space in which all of this is simply appearing and changing moment to moment. In the final minute of the session. Drop all efforts. And rest your mind. And notice, whatever it is that you notice. OK. Well, once again, thank you for the efforts you’re making here. And as you go about your day, see if you can find brief moments to reawaken the kind of care and clarity you may be touching in these sessions. Occasionally just pause before starting the next thing. Pause when you sit down at your desk or get into your car or begin to eat or pick up the phone, it can be less than a second. But just in these transition moments, see if you can suddenly recognize that you were conscious and that everything is just appearing on its own. That there’s experience and it’s always changing. Give yourself half a dozen moments of mindfulness throughout the day.