11. Don't Meditate Because It's Good for You

Many people who are at first skeptical about the benefits of meditation, find their skepticism relieved when they hear that meditation changes the brain. And there are areas of the brain that appear to physically change size, in response to meditation, undoubtedly new connections are made and others are diminished. And in addition to structural changes, there are functional ones. And there does seem to be a more or less linear relationship between changes of this kind, and the amount of time a person has spent practicing. Now, this information is interesting. And I will certainly discuss it in other contexts. But the truth is, virtually anything you do, changes your brain, the fact that you had breakfast this morning, and that you can remember it changed your brain. And of course, learning any complex skill requires that your brain physically alter its structure. That is what learning is at the level of the brain. So saying that meditation changes the brain is not to say that it’s special, or that it’s good for you. Most things that are bad for you also change your brain. Of course, there’s a growing literature on the benefits of meditation. And I will talk about it from time to time. But I want to suggest that there’s nothing likely to appear in that literature that represents the deepest reason why one should meditate. For instance, there’s studies that suggest that meditation improves immune function, or reduces stress, or that is associated with less age related thinning of the cerebral cortex. Well, having a good immune system, and reducing stress, and not suffering, neuro degeneration are good things in general. But those studies might fail to replicate tomorrow. And should that happen, my recommendations in this course, would not change at all. There really are deeper reasons to meditate, and to live an examined life in general. Meditation is a skill that opens doors that you might not otherwise know exist. And to say that you should do this because it reduces stress or confers any other ancillary benefit, is really to miss the point. Consider an analogy to reading. is reading good for you? Does it reduce stress? Do you see what’s peculiar about that framing? Given how profound The difference is, between being an avid reader and being illiterate? These are strange questions. Just think about it. Does reading reduce stress? It sort of depends on what you read, right? Is it good for you? Well, I think we can all imagine scenarios where it’s not good for somebody in any kind of straightforward way. But reading is one of the most important skills our species has ever acquired. Almost everything we care about depends on it. Of course, mindfulness is a very different sort of skill. But it also has sweeping implications. And the other way to think about this is that you are always meditating on something, your attention is always bound up in something, we largely become what we pay attention to. We are building our minds in each moment. We’re building habits, and desires, and worries, and expectations, and prejudices, and insights. And mindfulness is just the ability to notice this process with clarity, and to then prioritize what you pay attention to. Why not pay attention to those things that make you a better person. Why not free your attention from all of the trivial things that are clamoring for it? Let’s say you pick up your phone to check your email. And at that moment, your five year old daughter starts telling you a story. Now, several things are possible. You could be so lost in your thoughts about your email. And you could find the urge to respond to it so compelling, that you don’t even notice that your daughter is talking to you. Or you could notice it only to rebuffed her in a way that makes her feel terrible. And you might be so entranced that five minutes later, you wouldn’t even recall this episode occurred. That’s how most people live their lives. In fact, that’s how most of us live most of our lives, even after we learn to meditate. But the more you train in this practice, the more degrees of freedom you’ll find in situations like this. You can notice for instance, that your daughter is trying to get your attention and the giving her your attention is in competition with your following this urge to check your email. And when actual mindfulness comes on line, you can feel the urge to check your email as a pattern of energy in your body and simply let it go. That is you can actually break the link between the feeling and the behavioral imperative it seems to communicate. It’s true that one way to get rid of this feeling is to check your email. But another is to simply let go of it. And only mindfulness allows you to do the latter. And then you can direct your attention to the five year old who is standing in front of you. And it might be the only story she tells you that day. And you can be aware of this fact, in that moment, you can feel the poignancy of that. And in that moment, you can further ingrain this new habit, you can become the kind of person who is fully present in moments like that. And you become that kind of person, not just for yourself, by changing your brain, but in this case for your daughter, by changing her brain. And this is just a 30 seconds slice of life. When you learn to meditate, there are literally hundreds, even 1000s of moments like this throughout the day. These are choice points that wouldn’t otherwise exist. These are paths taken and not taken, for good reason. But without free attention, there’s no place for good reasons to land. And as you grow and mindfulness, you begin to notice the lies you can no longer tell. And you begin to have insights into your true motives in various situations that are sometimes not flattering. But you want these insights all the same, because how else could you become a better person? That is what it is to live an examined life. So don’t meditate, just because it’s good for you. It’s more important than that.